Someone reading this blog likely thinks I have only shallow thoughts/ concerns; that I mostly am concerned with tests/ schoolwork. While it is true that I am somewhat concerned with these things, I am also deeper than that. For a while, a few weeks maybe, maybe just since Saturday, I’ve been having issues. I’m really feeling like I’m slipping away from my friends, no joke. It’s happening differently for different ones, but slippage is occurring nonetheless. And at the same time, the bonds between them are becoming more and more solid with every day. Slowly they are being engulfed by The Group, and I am not. They’re selling out. I think it’s like endocytosis. Whatever. I just kind of feel like being an Independent right now. I need to brace myself for Emily (Key Club Emily) impaling me. But for now I’ll be chill. Is it time to weight/ sort out priorities? I don’t know. I don’t know a lot.
But I was thinking, on the way home yesterday. I realized that I told Kels that I wanted direction in my life. Well, as I see it now, if I wait around for direction to hit me in the face, it’ll already be too late. I need to start being more independent, make more choices, and give myself direction. I do have that power, I’m kind of discovering. I don’t need to do things people try to force upon me. I really need to realize that it is better to say no and do the right thing rather than comply and satisfy people. I am more like a dog, than a cat. And that is fine; I like dogs way better. But I don’t have to be a puppy that scampers after anything and everything, like I have in the past. Buster, my older dog (as of this moment I still have 2 dogs. This is the last night that I’ll be able to say that…), is immensely loyal to his owners, yet is more independent. I’m wondering if dogs, and other animals, get wiser as they get older like humans do. I don’t know.
I’m still going to retain my Sherri-ness though. It’s cool. I don’t hate anyone, I’ve decided. And that is kind of a big thing. Wait. I take that back. I’m not sure if I hate my neighbors or not. I thought 80 some year old senile people were supposed to be quiet, kind, and gentle. These people are the opposite; they are basically monsters. I’m not even kidding when I say that they were screaming at the top of their lungs, cussing my dad out. They have done this several times.
Anyway. Off of the negative, which is basically all this has been. The positives are that my stats test is done, I don’t have that much homework this weekend, I’m going to the pancake breakfast tomorrow morning, I got a lot of yearbook stuff done and therefore feel pretty useful, and right now I’m going to eat enchiladas.
I’m not sad, necessarily. Just reflective.
By the way, I don't know what was up with the whole "speaking in third person" thing. That was kinda creepy.
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