a teacher..?

Well, I kind of abruptly ended yesterday, when the bell rang when I was in comp sci. But basically to sum it up, I just love talking to such an intriguing and amazing person every day. I honestly have never met anyone like her at all. Ms. B. sees things differently than most people. Most people are materialistic, money hungry “hollow men” (borrowed from Eliot, thanks man) blind to the beautiful things in life. She’s the antithesis of all that. Earthly, tangible objects don't seem to matter very much; the fact that she doesn't make much money isn't important. It’s kind of the like the whole big issue, the whole SAT topic (what defines a good job..? Guess what I said?)… Hm. Well, at any rate, I just want to say that I’m glad this woman appeared out of nowhere and entered into my life last August. Very glad. Sure, money is important, yeah. But is it the most important thing? Heck no. No no no. Beautiful, lyrical writings and inspiring music and time-stopping photographs and, well, art of any type, really. What about all that? What about abstract, intangible things? What about imagination? What about love? So, driving home on Friday, I felt oddly content, yet also sort of restless. Like I was itching to go out into the world and see what I’d make of it. Drive, drive, drive. Maybe all the way to JMU. On the seat beside me lay my sketchbook, my water, and my (well, for the time being) T. S. Eliot book. I’m doing him for my research paper, even though he’s technically an American poet (I was kind of able to sneak him in to the British Authors category, but shh, don’t tell). He’s actually pretty amazing – Ms. B has good taste in favorite poets. So basically she was pretty pleased that I had brought his name into conversation before school (I said I was thinking of doing him or CS Lewis or others). Since I was #24 out of 26 people… yeah, I ended up choosing Eliot. Which, actually, I’m quite happy about. She lent me her very own personal worn and dog-eared T.S. Eliot book, just… because. So, I was looking at it today, and get this: there are notes all over it in her distinct Ms. B-ish handwriting!- It’s pretty much AMAZING. They are crazy! I really like “The Hollow Men;” I think it’s my favorite. I’ll post my favorite lines sometime. I was reading that one yesterday in the car; my family drove to Chiles for dinner… weird. Anyway, that concludes yesterday. Today was kind of just paranormal, at least the beginning. I don’t know why, but it just was. I kept waking up last night, first of all. I don’t know what the heck I was doing in my sleep, but I kept waking up with the covers up in the corner by my head, and I seriously think I was sleepwalking around my room. I know that I was having a weird dream, but I cannot grasp it now. All I know was that it was strange. So then I woke up and called my friends about a million times, I don’t exactly know why, but I was desperate for some sort of contact. I ended up just uneasily driving up to town by myself and then wandering around p-wing trying to get in, but I couldn’t so I just walked back to my car, feeling like this was actually a dream. But then I went to the lodge and everything became normal again. We did key club stuff (handed out balloons, made ice cream in a bag, took pictures/movies) ‘til 2 or so, then drove home. The three of us ran to K’s again, and I got drenched with water, um, TWO times (thanks, guys…) And for the past oh.. 2 hours, I really haven’t been doing much of anything. Putting songs on my computer… putting pictures on my computer… reading the T.S. Eliot book… You know. I should learn my lesson, though. I really, really should. And in fact I’m going to do just that. Right now. I’m going to be responsible for once and shut myself in my room with nothing but my putrescent purple precal book and work. That way I won’t feel so guilty. Maybe that’s my problem: I’ve just given up. In some ways, I want, I NEED, it to be May already. In some ways, though, I’m savoring every last second of junior-hood; it’s slipping through my fingers like sand and I can’t pause it or slow it down. There’s one thing I’m going to miss more than anything next year. I can’t bear the thought, almost. Sigh. Oh yeah, one last thought/ fact/ tidbit/ extra-piece-of-unnecessary-info: I haven’t broken my Grande White Mocha streak yet! My mom got one for me today after much hesitation. But, yes!! Who cares if it’s the most calorific thing on the menu; it’s amazing. Ahem. Well, yeah, I should go. Wait. One last thought. I hate grades. Well, the grades aren’t the bad thing; it’s the whole importance of them that gets me riled. They are the cause of so much yelling and bickering and all that jazz.. why do they have to be so fookin’ important? I mean, really. We put grades so high up there. If you don’t have above a 4.0 at this school, you’re not “smart” … but you could be learning more than anyone else or learning more than you have ever before. But no. You just need to appease the grouchy teachers, groveling and shoving in crinkled bits of homework. Students do homework, hating every minute of it; teachers grade it, hating every minute of it. It’s all about complacency, blindly taking orders, blah blah blah. I’m kind of pissed at school right now. Well, certain classes. Other classes are taught by amazing, more than competent, nicer than nice teachers. Why aren’t there more teachers like that in the world? It kind of just makes me want to become..